Follow Us. Over the years, this interest has driven me to study the effects of the internet in greater depth. Essays that are successful in the Ivy League pool often use very specific details to make the essay true-to-life and fresh. That month, the ink from my printer was running as dry as my body was soaked with sweat from running around the school collecting questionnaires. When I was seven, my favorite restaurant, Noodles, had mac-n-cheese that was legendary, ivy league admissions essays. What do you hope they will add to yours?
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When the choice is yours, what do you read, listen to, or watch? Name one thing you are looking forward to experiencing at Stanford. Imagine you had an extra hour in the day — how would you spend that time? The Stanford community is deeply curious and driven to learn in and out of the classroom. Reflect on an idea or experience that makes you genuinely excited about learning. Virtually all of Stanford's undergraduates live on campus. Write a note to your future roommate that reveals something about you or that will help your roommate — and us — know you better. Tell us about something that is meaningful to you and why. How will you explore your intellectual and academic interests at the University of Pennsylvania? Please answer this question given the specific undergraduate school to which you are applying.
While arguing a Dartmouth-related case before the U. And yet, there are those who love it! Choose one of the following prompts and respond in words:. Use one of these translations to introduce yourself. How might your course of study at Dartmouth prepare you to address it? Emmy and Grammy winner Donald Glover is a 21st century Renaissance man—an actor, comedian, writer, director, producer, singer, songwriter, rapper, and DJ. Why are you drawn to the area s of study you indicated earlier in this application? You may share with us a skill or concept that you found challenging and rewarding to learn, or any experiences beyond course work that may have broadened your interest. What do you hope to experience at Brown through the Open Curriculum, and what do you hope to contribute to the Brown community?
Remember the qualities we mentioned above? Passion, leadership, initiative, intellectual vitality, and memorability! Each of these prompts is, in some way, designed to get your child reflecting on something in a creative and enthusiastic way. What follows is advice that can apply to both the PS and the supplementals, given the wide range of topics one can address across each type of essay. Thank you! Your guide is on its way. In the meantime, please let us know how we can help you crack the the college admissions code. You can also learn more about our 1-on-1 college admissions support here. Successful students write about what interests them. It should be something the applicant can write about with conviction, excitement, and specificity. Our first example student is Camille.
When choosing a topic for supplemental essays, one might expect Camille to choose something that relates to these activities, or that in some way reflects on her academic prowess in the humanities. Instead, for one of her supplemental essays, Camille wrote about a topic that may at first seem unrelated to her application. Our second example student is Jenna. For her supplemental essays, though, she chose to write about her love for the hit musical Hamilton. By way of their interests we learn, indirectly, more about each student herself. Our third student, Simon , might be thought of as well rounded.
His grades and test scores are high in math, science, and the humanities. One of his supplemental essays for Princeton asked that he respond to a quotation of his choosing. Our last example student, Rhea , is the opposite of Simon. On the other hand, she struggles in subjects like math. What could they talk about at the dinner table for an hour? How do they spend their free time? What do they find themselves wanting to do when they should be doing something else? It reads like a truly creative endeavor. The first structural element that makes these essays successful is the opening.
Jenna begins her essay with a hook that 1 draws the reader in and 2 establishes her voice, and her enthusiasm, immediately. A coal scuttle. A woman on stage, crying, singing, and burning a series of old-looking papers the color of tea. All this: a way to tell the audience about someone history has forgotten. This is what happens at one of the emotional climaxes of my favorite musical: Eliza Hamilton, spurned by her husband, removes herself from the historical narrative by burning their letters. I saw Hamilton when my father won a lottery for tickets on a visit to New York City. A drama nerd, I was thrilled to get a chance to see the Pulitzer- and Tony-winning production. There is no try. An eclectic group of unrelated aphorisms?
Not at all. I prefer to think of it as a sanctuary where students are free to disagree, take risks, and derive their own sense of meaning. Notice that these essays open with a focus on something beyond the student: they begin by grabbing the interest of the reader. They also start small. It can be daunting to sit down in front of the blank page, trying to communicate a big idea. Notice, though, that she begins the essay not by immediately making her love for Hamilton into a metaphor. Instead she begins with a concrete detail—the climax of the show. What do they know, specifically, about this thing?
Jenna knows the exact the type of prop used onstage, because she geeked out and asked around when she dreamt of putting on her own version of the show at her high school. Your antique-loving child might know a litany of specific period terms, or the difference between a baroque armoire and a mid-century walnut credenza. Have them list what they know, and begin the essay with object rather than idea. Starting small and going big is a good strategy. That being said, a successful essay opening can also start big. The cosmos call to me. Whether in a city, where only the brightest stars break through the noise, or away from all distractions, where their number can overwhelm, I welcome the perspective the heavens bestow. Even though I try to tame the sky with books or a telescope, it never ceases to make me feel powerless.
Beginning with the cosmos is about as big as you can get. So, your child has started their essay. What next? The next section of the essay, after the hook, should accomplish two things. Second, it should reflect that the student has thought about why this thing might grab their interest. What defines a unique student voice in an admissions essay? more colloquially. Sometimes students swing too far towards using formal SAT-word-strewn language in order to impress an admissions committee or to sound mature. On the contrary, well-placed use of informal language can humanize the candidate and give the essay a voice. Okay, okay. Musical theater can be hammy and campy. I should have learned to love history in school, right? But every year, my class began with the same old recitations about documents that seemed ancient.
To return to our hypothetical antique-aficionado: how should she establish voice in her essay? Maybe it would involve mixing formal terminology with informal language. Repetition can also be a valuable strategy in structuring an essay and establishing voice. One of her supplemental essays for Yale takes as its subject the realization that she uses the written word not only to understand herself but to learn about her family history. The essay begins on a broad, personal note, with an organizing topic sentence in the second paragraph:. When I reflect on my life, everything ties back into the power of the written word. As the essay progresses, it opens up—Rhea links the personal significance of writing to something larger. One way Rhea achieves this is through repetition:. Words make me who I am.
The words of my grandparents told me how lucky I am to be growing up in America, instead of Nazi-occupied Poland or Stalinist Russia, like they did. Now they need to leave the admissions committee with a clear, well-crystallized idea about the student and their personality. In the last paragraph of the essay, he narrows the scope again:. I make sure to embrace the night sky as a reminder that I am not in complete control. The stars will move regardless of how I live my life. But I do know that this theater-geek has a wider sense of what can be accomplished onstage, and of how big ideas can come to life through something as small as a coal scuttle.
Essays that are successful in the Ivy League pool often use very specific details to make the essay true-to-life and fresh. Your student should avoid cliché and generalizations as they write. The rays beating onto his back seem to infuse him with an enthusiastic energy which he passes on to his drowsy students. The well-worn spine of The Brothers Karamazov is plopped in one open hand, complete with the ubiquitous highlighted passages and illegible margin notes. The other madly gesticulates. Notice that Camille really sets the scene here. She zooms in to show not just details, but telling details. We understand that this is an enthusiastic and dedicated teacher from the description of his gesticulation and the description of the marginalia.
Not only do these details tell us something about the teacher: by telling us what Camille notices and admires about the teacher, we learn more about Camille. Application essays are not the place to brag. Your child is in the Ivy League pool, and the non-qualitative portions of the application—the Common App, the resume, etc. In fact, the essay is sometimes a good place to acknowledge flaws, contradictions, and uncertainty. Words are the thread that ties me to the people and events around me. Words help me understand a universe that is at once united and divided.
Words remind me that I am at once miniscule, insignificant, and at the same time an important link in the chain of history. In the last paragraph of the essay, Rhea ends by meditating on her own insignificance, which can be a counterpart to an application geared to show an admissions committee how she stands out from the crowd. This ending suggests humility and perspective, as well as a contradiction. No matter what question is asked on a college application, admission officers are looking to see how well you convey your ideas and express yourself in writing. It is our window to your world. They have been my comfort, my refuge, my outlet, my joy. At first glance, this might seem like an overstatement or a generalization. But this clarity and confidence communicates key information to an admissions committee: this person is serious about their interests.
This suggests that your child has put extra effort into highlighting the central idea of the essay and considers it a full, polished piece of writing. Not writers of college essays. The real deal. Note: You can view additional successful college essay examples on our site. Room ? Zachary himself. He sits on the windowsill digging his elbows into his knees, a panorama of hazy trees stretched behind him in the early morning sunlight. The well-worn spine of Great Expectations is plopped in one open hand, complete with the ubiquitous highlighted passages and illegible margin notes. He reads faster and faster, gradually increasing the intensity in his voice until suddenly he stops—catching us all by surprise with his silence.
That is Mr. Zachary in his pure, unadulterated genius. He finds subtle ways to sneak in references to his proud Irish-Catholic roots. Remarkably, he never intimidates with his boundless knowledge. He the only teacher I know who has snappier wisecracks than the class clown. His passion is contagious. Never before have I felt so liberated sitting in front of a blank computer screen. One of Mr. Have your child sit with a blank piece of paper and brainstorm people, places, or moments that have made an impression on them over the course of a few years. What are some personality traits that they might want the admissions committee to know? What positive things do people repeatedly say about them? For example, if people consistently rely on your student to organize group projects, they might be a good leader.
Have your child outline the essay. If they wanted a reader to take one thing away from reading the essay, what would it be? Shirag Shemmassian is the Founder of Shemmassian Academic Consulting and one of the world's foremost experts on college admissions. For nearly 20 years, he and his team have helped thousands of students get into top programs like Harvard, Stanford, and MIT using his exclusive approach. Click below to review our school-specific guides to help your child get into their top-choice Ivy League schools:. How to Get Into Harvard. How to Get Into UPenn. Admissions Support.
EU Admissions. College Athletic Recruitment. Financial Application Support. Online Tutoring. Extracurricular Mentoring. Crimson Research Institute. Essay Review. Crimson Rise. Crimson Global Academy. US Boarding School Program. About Us. Who We Are. Our Story. Our Student Success. Our Alumni. Our Reviews. Our Admissions Strategists. Meet Our Teams. Our Costs. Our Values. Student Success. Crimson in the News. Careers at Crimson. Crimson Scholarships. US High School GPA Calculator. UK University Admissions Calculator. Top of the Class Podcast. Crimson YouTube Channel. Extracurricular Opportunities. University Profiles. Our Blog. If you're looking for some solid tips and advice on an effective admissions essay, you've come to the right place.
In this blog, we have an example of admissions essay so epic that it got its author accepted to five Ivy league colleges and few other big name players. Further down, we've also got another example of an effective admissions essay from a Singaporean author, who was admitted into two Ivy League colleges among others. These examples can help you with your own essay, but before we reveal the secret to success, we should cover some of the basics. We assist you to find your best-fit university, create a personalised roadmap, ace your standardised tests, craft the perfect essay, build candidacy through extracurriculars, and more.
Find out more about Admission Support. The common application personal statement is a word essay that you will submit to all US colleges to which you apply. If there were, then you'd be able to replicate that formula and get accepted on the merits of your essay alone as could everyone else. But while there's no one right way to write a successful essay, there are an infinite number of wrong ways to approach your personal statement , and you need to avoid them at all costs! Here are a few tips to help optimise your essay and ensure you stand out from the pool of applicants.
Before you even begin to think about writing, you need to analyse the essay "prompt". The common app personal statement requires you to choose from five prompts, which are basically starting points for your essay. Most universities will revise these each year, so it's important to take a look at what has changed - if anything - and what you need to focus on. Your essay is the best opportunity for you to showcase some of your talents, but it's also the perfect chance to show your passions, your personality, your willingness to grow, or your ethics. Make sure you follow the prompt that best allows you to showcase your unique selling point. But don't let it stop you from being creative and thinking outside the box. You are going to have much more luck if you make the prompt fit you , rather than you trying to fit the prompt.
Write about something personal; this could be something you love, something you're proud of, or a moment in your life that changed you. Loosen up and write about something meaningful to you. Describe a topic, idea, or concept you find so engaging that it makes you lose all track of time. Why does it captivate you? What or who do you turn to when you want to learn more? Demonstrate your passions, how the idea has changed you, why this topic or idea has shaped you as a human. Go into detail - detail beyond what the lay person would know. Or go into detail about what you don't know and why this fascinates you.
Your first draft will not be perfect, so don't get caught up trying to make it so. Just let the words flow onto the paper and spill your guts. If you want your academic essay to be more than just another piece of paper in the sea of applications, then differentiate yourself with honesty. Don't just write about your solid grades and strong work ethic during high school - this will go down faster than a lead balloon. The college essay should paint you as an exciting, innovative, deep-thinking, passionate, and empathetic person with the ability to understand and dissect life situations - showing them to be an asset to campus culture.
Your essay needs to show why that's you , why you're different, and what you can offer. You need to talk about something that impacted your life. A moment, a conversation, a game, a class, an interaction - anything. Just make sure you're true to yourself. For example, Crimson CEO Jamie Beaton, who was accepted into five Ivy League colleges, wrote about failing at his first part-time job, while Soumil Singh, now a Harvard student , wrote about a game of cricket. They didn't talk about how perfect and amazing they were at school or how impressive their grades were, they wrote about pivotal moments in their life - real moments that meant something to them.
Don't wait until the body or conclusion to provide the meat of your essay or show your true colours. Powerful copywriting isn't something you're born with, but it is something you can learn. Professional writers share their tips all the time, some offering simple techniques to give your opening an edge , while others stress the importance of emotive introductions. Not James Joyce, nor Cormac McCarthy, nor Aravind Adiga, nor Sylvia Plath, nor Marlon James, nor Hilary Mantel, nor Hunter S. Thompson, nor any other famous writer or journalist in the history of time has had anything published without a review or an edit. Submitting an academic essay with a typo or incorrect punctuation could spell the end of your college career before it's even begun.
If you would like your essay reviewed by an expert so you can feel confident when submitting your college application, get your essay reviewed by Crimson. One of the most common mistakes on college application essays is students trying to fit in too many key messages into a short essay. Trying to say too much can confuse the admissions officer and book your essay a one way ticket to the maybe pile. Crafting an unforgettable personal essay that expresses who you are and what you can bring to campus life can be the difference between you becoming an alumnus of the college or not. And while there are infinite essay writing tips and hints you can find available on the internet, the best way to understand exactly what it takes to gain admission is to read and analyse previous examples — and parrot what they do best.
You're about to read a bulletproof example of a admissions essay that helped secure the author offers to Harvard, Yale, Princeton, UPenn, Columbia, Duke, and Stanford he ended up choosing Harvard. The lessons we take from obstacles we encounter can be fundamental to later success. Recount a time when you faced a challenge, setback, or failure. How did it affect you, and what did you learn from the experience? The apron drooped to my knees. I was emblazoned with the ʻHi, My Name is Jamieʼ sticker, coupled with a scarlet employee-in-training hat. The ʻFresh not Frozen, Grilled not Friedʼ motto resonated in my mind. It was July I had taken the plunge and secured my very first part time job. I was flipping burgers, and I was excited. I was accustomed to academia, to the sports field, to the stage, but this was an entirely fresh paradigm.
Anuj, the staff trainer and joyously friendly employee tasked with the rather unfortunate challenge of having to teach me hamburgerological cuisine greeted me with a firm handshake. This guy meant business. The familiar fast-food funk wafted through the tiny store like cologne in an airport duty-free store — overpowering, faintly nauseous and all-encompassing. The filing cabinets in my mind usually reserved for physics formulas, economics jargon and debating cases were tipped out and crammed with permutations and combinations of burgers — Otropo, Chicken Wrappa, Bondi. Exceptions to French conjugations were momentarily replaced with extra topping combos. The till became my new graphical calculator.
With surgeon-like precision Anuj modelled how to wrap a burger in four swift motions — place burger in the dead centre, pull wrap from left to right, then right to left, then roll the corners. He gestured towards his demonstration model and motioned for me to take to the stage.
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